Back to You
by charlienotcharlotte
Summary: Post-Aliyah spoiler alert , TIVA, Ziva has to find her way home, the only question is where is that home? And who and what is going to be waiting for her? Tony's doing some searching of his own. Now Complete.
1. Dreaming With A Broken Heart

**Author's note**: post-aliyah tiva – all of the chapters will be based/written around some of my favorite john mayer songs...so read it and tell me what you think

**Disclaimer: **don't own ncis...if i did aliyah would NOT have ended the way it did!!!

**Chapter 1**

**Dreaming With A Broken Heart**

"_When you're dreaming with a broken heart_

_The waking up is the hardest part"_

Ziva closed her eyes letting the breeze blow against her face. It was cool, cold even with a hint of frost in it, so different from the hot, stifling wind that often swept her homeland, she inhaled slowly letting the suddenly biting cold wind fill her lungs, the breeze was different, but in a good way, as was the sun beating down on her bare skin, it wasn't hot, her skin wasn't finding itself pulled and backed taught by the stifling heat, Ziva felt warmed, but pleasantly so. She smiled this wasn't the place of her birth, this wasn't the country she'd grown up in, the place where she'd learned to fight, to kill, to hurt, this wasn't the place that now held more bad memories than good for her, this place safe, this place was home. This was the place where she'd learned to laugh, to cry, to love.

Ziva felt a hand on her shoulder then, for once she didn't stiffen, the Mossad trained urge to fight back, to kill who ever it was that was touching her lay dormant in her breast. Instead her heart sped up wildly, happily, she recognized the touch, the soft squeeze on her shoulder. Ziva turned smiling widely when she met the happily dancing green eyes of her partner. He leaned towards her his lips brushing her ear and sending joyous tingles down her spine, "Close your eyes"

Ziva felt herself laughing, a happy bubbly laugh that seemed to explode out of her. Ziva obeyed her favorite image of him, the one emblazoned on the inside of her eyelids, replacing the real image of him the moment that her eyelids fell shut.

"Smell," Tony commanded softly, he ran his lips along Ziva's jaw as she leaned in automatically trying to close the space between them, he grabbed her reaching hand with his bringing her palm up to his lips, "Uh uh uh," he admonished his voice as light as the kisses he was now placing in the center of her palm, "Come on Zi, just smell them," Tony's voice sounded perfect to Ziva, it was the most perfect balance of joy, teasing, strength and dare she even think it? _Love,_ Ziva added silently, she inhaled deeply smiling at the scent that instantly filled her nostrils. Her eyes flew open as she stared taken aback by the huge bouquet of red roses in front of her.

"Roses," she said then her voice low with disbelief.

Tony grinned leaning in to kiss her lips, he pulled away slowly, reluctantly. He met her eyes whispering his voice barely audible, "Because I love you."

Ziva reached tentatively to touch him her heart still racing from the kiss, "And I lo-"

"Wake up bitch!"

Ziva's dream eyes shut as her real ones flew open, she gasped reeling more so from the dream than the sharp pain now blooming in her stomach a direct product of the the torturers steel toed boot. Ziva grimaced, in her mind she thought of this man as the Ares of her torturers he seemed to relish, gain joy from Ziva's suffering, every blow to her body brought an evil smile to his face.

"Up now!" the same harsh voice yelled. Ziva made her body go limp, another silent act of defiance towards her captors, making it that much harder for them to lift her up and into a chair.

"Where should we start today Ziva? Perhaps your feet yes? They seem to be healing very well," Ziva showed the men a blank unreadable face, Ares was looking for a response from her, one that she was determined not to give him, 3 weeks now and you wold think he would have stopped expecting one.

"Tell us what you know about the Navy's defense plans!" a second man yelled. In Ziva's head she called him Fortinbras, he was all brawn no brains, he'd quicker revert to pure violence to try and break her will, but all of his work had been for naught, Ziva had made up her mind the moment the first torture session had began all those weeks ago. I will not betray NCIS, she thought with unwavering certainty, I will not betray my friends, my family, my home.

"Tell me, do you not tire of asking me that?" Ziva asked her head turning to lessen the force of the blow coming her way for angering her captors. Ziva smirked, they had obviously never been taught to control their emotions as she had. It was frighteningly easier for Ziva to play her captors than it was for them to play her.

"Really Ziva, I am amazed that you have held out this long," Ziva forced back a shudder letting her Mossad mask of unfeeling and complete control slip over her face again, this man, the one who was obviously in charge, calling the shots, was the only one of her captors that truly scared her. He was like Roger Chillingworth, watching each torture session, lurking in the shadows of her tiny cell, waiting for the right moment to step in, to say the only thing, the only words possible that could break Ziva, that could cause her to reevaluate her stance on not talking. Ziva stared at the man watching as he walked slowly towards her, the hairs at the back of her neck stood up while every one of her instincts Mossad and otherwise screamed for her to get as far away from him as quickly as possible. Ziva squelched these senses meeting the man's evilly glittering black eyes steadily, despite her urge to look away, scared from him. He leered down at Ziva's ripped and torn shirt staring t the exposed and bloodied skin with a hate filled smirk on his lips. "Ziva, Ziva, Ziva, you would let your precious Anthony DiNozzo die? You would let your stubbornness bring about his death?"

Ziva flinched her hard mask of unfeeling dropping for a moment as the man's words punched like bullets through her emotional shield leaving her bare and broken, for the first time in the past three weeks Ziva found herself feeling the immense toll the constant torture had taken on her now beaten and broken body, she let out a tiny inaudible gasp meeting the man's eyes angrily, refusing to give him an even further look into the pain coursing through every inch of her body. 'You will not hurt Tony." she said her voice strong and tone unwavering.

The man smiled, "Ah, so now you are ready to talk." he said his tone joyous.

Ziva leaned forward slightly in the chair slipping the knife she' d stolen from the idiot guard out from where it was hidden at the small of her back, she ignored the stinging pain from where the knife cut into her skin, it was just one more wound on top of the plethora of wounds across her skin, she would deal with it later, but right now she had to concentrate, to force her starved mind to concentrate it was the only way that she;d make it out of this alive. Ziva beckoned the man forward, to step closer to her, he obeyed his eyes going wide with pleasure. Ziva inhaled deeply ignoring the tang of blood, her blood in the air, I need to be faster than I have ever been she affirmed silently. The moment the man touched her face her hand flew up plunging the knife straight into his throat, she yanked it out quickly grabbing his gun at the same time that she kicked his dead body away from her.

Three gunshots echoed through the room then there was silence, complete and utter silence.

"_Will you wake up by my side?_

_No she can't cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone."_

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_SOOOO what'd you think???? plzz review...lets see there are 1548 words in this chapter the sum of those digits is 18_

_this sum will give you (the reader) the number of reviews i'd like to see before the aforementioned chapter is posted...so get to work!!!! _

_no pressure btw...any review is a gr8 review!!!! (to ppl reading this after 3:30pm eastern time u'll see that my # of reviews i'd like has dropped drastically...lets just say tht a little birdy mentioned tht 30s a really big #!)_

_Sayra_


	2. Free Falling

**A/N: **500 hits and 18 reviews...hmmm..well u guys met my quota but still only 18...i just want to know if you guys like it or not!!! anyway hope u enjoy this chapter...READ & REVIEW!!

**Disclaimer: **If i owned NCIS there'd be a bunch of tiva babies running around the squadroom right now ;)

**Chapter 2**

**Free Falling**

"_And I'm a bad boy cause I don't even miss her_

_I'm a bad boy for breaking her heart"_

"Tony!"

Tony sat up startled, the force of his sudden reaction to Gibbs' yell set his desk chair titling he windmilled his arms trying to regain his balance. Gibbs crossed the room quickly and steadied the chair, he remained face to face with Tony his steely blue eyes piercing as he met his agent's tired dark ringed ones. "She's gone Tony, move on" Gibbs said finally his face expressionless.

Tony shook his head angrily clenching his jaw, the boss doesn't understand, he thought, she's gone, and it's because of m, and everyone refuses to admit it, they tiptoe around her empty desk, trying not to look, trying not to reference her, everyone was walking on damn eggshells around this place!

"_And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows,_

_All the good girls are home with broken hearts"_

Tony winced in preparation for the Gibbs slap that never came, when he ventured to crack an eyelid he saw that Gibbs was just standing there wearing his "What the hell am I going to do with you DiNozzo" face. "Not your fault DiNozzo." Gibbs said after a rare moment of complete silence in their bullpen. Tony flew to his feet ignoring the looks of surprise on both McGee's, who was suddenly entranced by what was going around in front of Tony's desk, and Gibbs' faces.

"Not my fault!" Tony yelled incredulously running his hand frustrated through his hair and making it stand on end in his disbelief. "I don't know Boss but something about killing my killing the man she loved kind of screams my fault! You of all people should understand why she left! Why she hates me! I took away the only person she loved in the world!" Tony pushed past Gibbs not even giving the older man the chance to respond to his outburst. Frankly Tony didn't want to hear his response, it didn't matter, whatever Gibbs had to say it didn't matter, nothing mattered anymore, nothing. Tony pushed blindly through the crowd of blatantly staring agents, they were obviously unused to seeing these kind of blow ups from Team Gibbs, especially when they were directed towards the leader, that silver haired patriarch. Tony walked through NCIS unseeing his fists shoved angrily into his pockets, he looked up, only really seeing what was in front of him when he felt the now cooling breeze on his face. He looked around, surprised at finding himself on the roof of their building. Tony closed his eyes as the smell of roses filled his nose. His eyes flew open almost instantly, more like he forced them open at the image of Ziva that seemed to emblazoned on the inside of eyelids flooded his already aching mind. Tony walked towards the low wall that ran along the edge of the roof, if it was supposed to be some kind of barrier, then it was doing a horrible job, Tony smiled softly at that thought thinking back almost instantly to one night, one innocent, stolen, secret night he and Ziva had spent up here. He'd followed her up here after a particularly hard case ready to pass on Gibbs' gruff and earlier given advice, "Rule number 11"

"_Jeez it's cold up here." Tony said jamming his fists into the pocket of his NCIS issue jacket. It was cold enough to see his breath in front of his face, he glanced around stamping his feet looking for any sign of his partner. _

"_But it is beautiful," Ziva's voice seemed to flirt in on the wind, Tony jumped startled whirling to face his sadly smiling partner, he frowned when he saw the place she'd chosen as her perch. She'd straddled the barrier wall saying with a musical lilt in her voice, "This is the worst barrier I have ever seen, anyone can climb from the roof of that building, " she gestured wildly now, seemingly oblivious to the sheer drop mere inches away from where she sat, she seemed to have forgotten that all that kept her from falling was her precarious balance on the wall, "Up the wall to this one." _

_Tony rolled his eyes hurrying over to his partner, he slipped his hands around her waist to steady her __as she teetered dangerously away from him, Tony's hands remained where they were long past the time Ziva needed steadying, both realized this but neither made a move to change it. _

"_Maybe __you__ could , but not just anyone." Tony glanced down at the half a story drop shaking his head, "Definitely not just anyone." he said his voice sure. _

_Ziva rolled her eyes standing in one smooth movement so that Tony was now holding her ankles instead of her waist she stepped out of his hold then walked along the ledge her steps light and graceful. She walked with the flowing gate of a dancer, she smiled as she pulled herself up on pointe then pirouetted so that she could see Tony, "Come on up," she urged her smile widened at the look in Tony's eyes, it was like he couldn't figure out if to yell at her about doing ballet on pointe on a tiny ledge 40 feet in the air or marvel in wonder at the fact that she was doing ballet on pointe on a tiny ledge 40 feet in the air. "Come on Tony, it is fun," Ziva said again her eyes lighting up with mirth._

"_No way Zi, see not all of us are crazy Mossad ninja ballerinas who enjoy falling off 4 story buildings." Tony replied walking over to where she now stood his hands taking hers in an effort to get her off the wall. Ziva frowned pouting slightly, "Come on Tony, do not be such a frightened-cat."_

_Tony groaned, she'd been doing so well, Ziva's trip back to Israel had ruined her, 'It's scaredy-cat Ziva, and I am so not!"_

_Tony climbed up onto the wall all smiles, his smile widened when Ziva squeezed his hand adding quickly, "Look, the view is beautiful," Tony's eyes never left Ziva's face as he nodded leaning in to brush his lips against her cheek, "Yes, yes it is."_

_Ziva was silent for a moment her eyes getting that far away look that Tony recognized instantly as her lost in thought look. She looked so adorable right now, as she bit her bottom lip softly intent on figuring out whatever was going on in her head. _

"_Penny for your thoughts Zi?" Tony asked breaking the silence when his patience ran out. Ziva met his eyes a confused expression on her face, "Why would you pay me for my thoughts? And even so why would you only pay a penny? It is worth the least in your currency yes?" Tony made a face then __reached out and tapped Ziva's nose startling a grin onto her beautiful face, "It's a saying Zi, I just want to know what you're thinking right now, you've got your cute thinking face on." Ziva punched his arm lightly, quickly grabbing the same arm before Tony could lose his balance. "Sorry, and I do not have a thinking face, cute or otherwise, I was just thinking that I could make the jump easily and that I would love to try." Ziva said her tone completely serious._

"_Nononono," Tony replied shaking his head, "No way am I letting you jump off a building with me right here watching you."_

_Ziva shrugged dropping his hand, "Then close your eyes."_

_She jumped before Tony could react her body launching gracefully into the air, she tucked her body in rotating midair so that she landed on the roof below her boots hitting with a loud thwack. Ziva sprung into a stand her movements almost feline like in Tony's eyes, she grinned widely at him waving wildly up at him beckoning him to come down and join her. _

"You gonna jump DiNozzo?" Tony looked over his shoulder at Gibbs he'd been startled out of his memories by the Boss's voice. He looked down at the rooftop a few yards below him for the smallest moment he could see Ziva, see her body arching gracefully through the air, then he blinked and she was gone.

Gibbs ran his hand through his hair stepping towards his agent who was balancing precariously on the wall. "I said are you really gonna jump son?" Gibbs asked his voice slightly louder his tone more urgent. Tony didn't reply instead he stared out into the open air as if he hadn't heard the boss speak.

"Get down DiNozzo!!"

"_I wanna write her name in the sky_

_I'm gonna free fall into nothin' _

_gonna leave this world for a while"_

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_Okay so what'd you think? there are 1763 words in this chapter the sum of those digits is 17 that means it'll only take 17 reviews (or more) fingers crossed to make me really happy!!! and get u guys another chapter!!! so i'll leave you with this: _

**"step off mcflower power, you've had ur chance to speak" lol and my all time favorite "ziva's walking in circles, either she lost the trail or is about to mark her territory" LMAO**

**and this REVIEW!!!! (plz)**

**Sayra :)**


	3. Daughters

Disclaimer: Not mine...arg

Author's note: Great job on the reviews!!!! I loved each and every one of them!!!! Okay so here's the next chapter (see that's how these things work you give me what I want and I give you what you want LOL I sound like a kidnapper...I wish Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs would come and arrest me!) anyway you know the deal read and review!!!

**Chapter 3**

**Daughters**

"_I know a girl_

_She puts the colors inside of my world_

_but she's just like a maze_

_where all the walls are continually changed"_

"Go home DiNozzo"

Those three words echoed in Tony's mind the entire walk down from the roof, through the squad room amidst the surprised, confused, and the ones that brought him the most pain, the pitying, hurting expressions on the faces of McGee and Abby. Abby who with tears running down her pale cheeks had run upstairs after Gibbs and yelled like her heart was being shattered into pieces, "Get down DiNozzo!" her voice had broken as she added with a sob, "_please_"

"Go home DiNozzo"

Tony had obeyed, standing rigid in Abby's embrace, as she the woman who could barely control her loud sobbing was trying to comfort him by hugging him as tightly as she could.

"Go home DiNozzo"

Tony let himself into his apartment, taking a page out of the boss' book when he left it unlocked, but for entirely different reasons, right now he'd welcome anyone who wanted to end his life, hell he'd give them his gun, load it even, if it meant that he'd stop hurting. Tony leaned heavily against the wall fighting hard not to let the hot tears in his burning eyes fall.

"Go home DiNozzo"

Home? The boss had said it softly, no feeling in his voice. Home? To an empty apartment void of anything that lighten his mood, make him feel whole again. Home? No where was home, not anymore, not without-

Tony frowned seeing his bedroom door swing open, he blinked once, then twice, at the cargo pants and white cami clad figure that seemed to be gliding towards him.

"I am home Tony"

Those four words, four little words, broke Tony's hold on the barrier that kept his emotions at bay, he crossed the apartment at a run his speed only second to the tears that were racing in a flood down his cheeks. He pulled her into his arms burying his in her curls, those soft, dark, painfully fragrant curls. He held her tightly shaking his head too overwhelmed by both his pent up sadness and his immense joy at finally having her in his arms again, a low sob escaped her then and his tears disappeared, Tony stared down at her, all of her, his eyes widening at the state she was in. A myriad of bruises and cuts that crisscrossed over her paled, once unmarred skin each in different stages of healing, from the pale yellow of almost gone to the dark black and purple of fresh wounds. He ran his finger lightly over her puffy bottom lip then traced the light scar cutting her left eyebrow in two right above the edge of her blackened eye. Ziva winced slightly then leaned her face into his palm.

"_Ooh, you see that skin?_

_It's the same she's been standing in_

_Since the day he walked away _

_now she's left_

_cleaning up the mess he's made"_

Tony slid to the floor gently pulling her down with him, he held her tightly curling his arms around her narrower, painfully skinnier than remembered frame as sob after heartbreaking sob racked her body, it seemed just natural for him to rest his face next to her ear his lips soft as he murmured sweet reassurances of her safety with his into her ear. She buried her face in the crook of his neck pulling herself completely onto his lap and letting him comfort her like she'd let no one before.

Tony spoke only when her cries had subsided entirely, he brushed her damp curls gently out of her tear streaked face staring into her warm dark, and frighteningly lost eyes, "Ziva, I'm sorry, I'm sorry about Michel, I'm sorry that you had reason not to trust me, I'm so so sorry." Tony said his voice wrought with pure anguish and sincerity. Tony tore his eyes away from hers unable to look anywhere near them, near her, he was unable and unwilling to see the pain that he was sure was blooming in her dark irises. Ziva shook her head, grabbing hold of Tony's chin, she turned his head angrily back to face her so that now it was she who was initiating so personal of a contact, "No," she began her voice shaking with unrestrained rage, "No, this, none of it is your fault." Ziva felt tears pooling once again in her eyes as she repeated her voice building in its conviction, "Not your fault."

Tony frowned, Ziva had echoed Gibbs' very words perfectly, he brushed the now fully formed tears in her eyes gently away with his thumbs, a million thoughts running through his head, he forced himself to focus on just the one though, the one that had become the most prevalent in his mind, the one that had kept him up every night and controlled his mind every waking second since he'd returned to DC without her, the one that he was surest about,

"Ziva I lo-" Ziva's hand flew up,she placed it over his lips so that no sound could escape, "No," she said shaking her head,her curls bouncing wildly, "No, do not say it, he will, hurt you too."

"He?" Tony mumbled his breath warm on her palm, Tony felt a wave of confusion crash over him, just as it receded a wave of understanding took its place washing all hints of prior confusion away.

"_And I've done all I can_

_To stand on her steps with my heart in my hand_

_Now I'm starting to think (see)_

_Maybe it's got nothing to do with me"_

"Your father" Tony stated then as Ziva pulled her hand away, he glanced down again at the motley bruises crossing her skin, the cuts and scrapes, the numerous scratches, the cast on her wrist, the very way she held herself as if it hurt her to move. "Did he do this to you?" Tony asked as he reached up tentatively to trace the long scratch running down her jaw.

Ziva shook her head, "Not directly." she sighed sadly reaching to trace Tony's frowning lips, "But he will hurt you if-" Ziva gasped then, she could see over Tony's shoulder to the wide open front door, and what she saw set her blood boiling as she flew up and out of Tony's hold and bounded towards the door.

"Father," his name dripped like acid from her lips.

Eli David's hand flew up, before she could react, connecting with a sharp slap with her already bruised cheek, the blow sent her weakened body reeling, Ziva fell back and into Tony's arms, he steadied her quickly then pushed her behind him protecting her from any further blows, not that he meant to give this man, this truly uncaring man the chance to touch her again. Tony's gun was in his hands in an instant the safety already off. The Israeli Director seemed unfazed at the fact that Tony's gun was pointed directly at his face, instead he smirked, "You would stand between me and what is mine?" he asked sneering at the agent in front of him.

"I would shoot you for even thinking that Ziva is yours" Tony replied his voice as steady as the weapon in his hands.

Eli's eyes widened a mixture of shock and rage crossing his face, "Step aside Agent DiNozzo, you are protecting a traitor to both of our countries." Eli spat the words as he glared vehemently at his daughter. It took all of Tony's will not to put a bullet between the man's cold taunting eyes. "Go on Agent DiNozzo shoot me," Eli said his voice as cold as his eyes.

"Tony no!" Ziva yelled her voice ragged from behind him. She slipped her arm around him lowering his hand. Eli watched with a smirk as Ziva slid the gun out of Tony's hands his smirk disappeared when Ziva slid the gun into the empty holster at her waist, "Let me deal with this."

Ziva said she squeezed Tony's hand reassuringly her eyes meeting his for a fraction of a second. Tony frowned but nodded, Ziva could and would hold her own against her father, that is if he didn't try anything particularly underhanded, but then he was the Director of Mossad, "I'll be right here," Tony said his words carrying a double meaning the first a reassurance that he was still her partner first and foremost to Ziva and the other a direct, unveiled promise to her father.

Ziva met her father's eyes reading the anger, the hatred, and with a slight gasp of realization the pain in her father's gaze, she shoved any pity she could have for him aside then walked past him quickly her keen ears hearing the light steps and rustle of his clothing that indicated that he was indeed following her into the hallway. Ziva heard the low, angry sigh he made then whirled to face him, "I am no traitor." she asserted her tone unwavering. Eli frowned choosing not to acknowledge her words, instead he turned and walked down the hallway and out of the front door.

Ziva followed him at a run, "Papa please, talk to me!!"

_So fathers be good to your daughters  
Daughters will love like you do  
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers  
So mothers be good to your daughters, too"_

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**So what'd you think? Love it? Hate it? Tell me what you think guys I love to hear (read) your thoughts!!! Anyway here's a random convo I had with my bf:**

Me: I'm naming my first kid Leroy Jethro Gibbs

Him: What about my last name?

Me: You're working on the assumption that I'm marrying you

Him: (rather confused) Aren't you?

Me: No didn't you hear the kid's last name? I'm marrying Gibbs

Him: You know he's not real right?

Me: BLASPHEMY!!! GET OUT (throws shoe) OUT! (throws cellphone) OUT! (throws stuffed hippo [guess his name])

Him: silence (he beat a hasty retreat when I picked up my boot knife)

**anyway enough of my randomness there are 1956 in this chapter the sum of that number is 21 so i'll need 21 reviews before I update.**

**SAyra**


	4. Say

**A/N:** thanks for everyone who reviewed! You guys rock!!!..without USA I'd be having some serious NCIS withdrawal right now....ok... I have a new favorite NCIS episode...it's Kill Ari part 2...anyone care to guess why?

**Disclaimer:** If I owned it Vance & one Eli David would be dead....there's always hope right? And FanFiction

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**Chapter 4**

**Say**

"_Walking like a one man army  
Fighting with the shadows in your head  
Living out the same old moment  
Knowing you'd be better off instead,  
If you could only ...  
Say what you need to say"_

"Papa please, talk to me!" Ziva yelled at her father's retreating back.

Eli turned and motioned towards the black limo parked outside, the Israeli flags hung limply in the light drizzle. Eli got in, choosing to remain silent as he gestured for his daughter to follow him. Ziva hesitated then obeyed her hand automatically going to rest on the butt of Tony's SIG. Eli's keen eyes picked up this motion, he frowned slightly, his displeasure at her action evident in his expression, he reached out slowly his hand moving to trace the still red hand print he had left on his daughter's already bruised cheek. Ziva recoiled from this touch instantly, her hand flying up and grabbing hold of his wrist, "Do not touch me" she spat angrily. Eli massaged his wrist slowly when Ziva let go, he stared silently at his daughter, watching carefully as how even now with her face expressionless and her body language giving the appearance that she was completely calm and in control she seemed to be radiating an intense anger wrought with hatred towards him.

He waited for her to speak, she had to thinking something, he thought, soon he would look up and see that cold, calculating look in her eyes, the one that would tell him if she'd decided to either attempt to kill him or attempt to leave. Eli met Ziva's steady gaze then dropped it as quickly, something about his daughter had changed, he realized suddenly, her fire, her strength was still there, but there was more, her eyes, her very gaze seemed pain filled, as if she suddenly carried this burden of pure sadness, Eli frowned meeting his daughter's eyes again, she looked away for a second her eyes trained on the building outside the window, she brushed her fingers lightly against the Star of David charm hanging around her neck toying with the charm for a moment. When she met her father's eyes again Eli saw something more, something that he'd never ever expected to see in his daughter's eyes, pure and honest yearning, yearning to be out, to be let out of whatever prison she was being held in, why was she feeling this way? He asked silently, better yet how long had she been feeling this way?

"Since my last mission, the one in Morocco, when I was in that explosion." Ziva said, her voice low, Eli hadn't known it, but as he was staring at her, analyzing her she'd been returning the favor, his question might as well have been written on his face, it was that obvious to Ziva. Eli scowled slightly watching as his daughter's toying with her necklace became a soft tugging.

"Did you know that Michael had betrayed you?" Ziva asked finally breaking the silence that her last statement had brought on.

Her father remained infuriatingly silent, it was the slight twitch of his jaw that gave his answer away. Ziva's eyes flashed angrily, yes then, he had known completely, he had probably known the moment Michael entered America that he was betrayed, so why did he not do anything about it? Ziva asked herself her mind whirring as she settled on an answer, her father had done something about it, he had left Michael to her, put her in the direct path of his actions. Ziva glared at her father not even trying to keep her true feelings of rage off of her face, "Did you know that by sending me on his mission you had just about signed my death warrant?" Ziva asked meeting her father's dark brown eyes, he was silent for a moment as a plethora of emotions crossed his face, he reached up and cupped Ziva's cheek with his palm, an action he hadn't done since she was a child, "I am sorry Ziva" he said his voice soft.

Ziva shoved his hand away scooting angrily away until she was as far away from his as was possible in the back of the limo.

"Do not apologize!" she yelled her voice magnified in the small space, "You knew! You knew it all and you still sent me! Why Papa? Do you hate me that much? Do you want me dead that badly?"

Ziva grew suddenly silent a look of cold contemplating on her face, "You, you do not deserve to be called my father! You put me in the direct line of danger time and time again without even a second thought! You sent me to die! You knew that if you sent me on Michael's assignment I would either die for NCIS or die a traitor to NCIS!"

"So tell me why you are alive then _daughter! _If you should be dead why are you here right now?" Eli interrupted his voice as loud as Ziva's.

Ziva scoffed her eyes wide with disbelief, "Surely you, the man who taught me to kill, to above all never betray my agency, know why I am alive," Ziva said her voice shaking with barely controlled rage, "I killed then Director, I killed them all, surely you are proud yes? Your precious little weapon managed to clean up another one of your messes! But I am done Mister Director! I will _not_ do this anymore! I will not be your pawn anymore! I will not kill for you anymore!" Ziva paused then reached for the gun she always kept at the small of her back, the one with her name etched in Hebrew in the butt, the one he'd given her all those years ago, Eli's eyes went from the gun to his daughter's suddenly angry tear filled eyes a look of recognition crossing his face.

"Surely you remember this gun _Director_," Ziva said her voice cold, "I was 14 years old, 14 Director! But you needed an operative, a pretty little girl, and you took me, you used me willingly! From that day you have used me for your own good, but that stops now! I am yours no longer!" Ziva dropped the gun in his lap then yanked her necklace off not caring that it bit into the back of her neck the clasp cutting her sharply before it came loose red with her blood in her palm she dropped this too into his lap.

"I am done, with you, with Mossad, with everything!" Ziva said her voice strong and unwavering.

Eli David remained silent, staring at Ziva as she opened the car door and stepped out, "You are done with me yes? But not with NCIS?" he called his eyes meeting Ziva's squarely a sneer on his lips.

Ziva gazed calmly back at him her answer clear in her hate filled eyes.

"Ziva, if you leave now there will be no turning back, no changing your mind, you will no longer have Mossad or me to fall back on." Eli said coldly.

Ziva glared at him in response waiting for the threat that she knew would be coming next.

"There will be no returning to Israel," Eli said his gaze as steady and emotionless as his words, "You must choose Ziva, and choose now, your life in Israel with Mossad or your life here."

Ziva gasped slightly, she knew the moment that she left the car that her father would threaten her in some last effort to get her to change her mind, but to force her to choose between her homeland, what was left of her family in Israel and the life she had made for herself here in America? That was cold that was low, even for him. Ziva stared down at her hands, could she make this choice, the land of her birth, a country she loved, could she live without being able to see it again? Ziva inhaled sharply her lungs burning as she looked over her shoulder at Tony's building, Tony, she thought sadly, could she leave him, no, could she leave their entire perfectly misfit family behind forever? Could she leave Gibbs, the only real father she'd ever known? Could she leave McGee with his sweet smile and soft words? Or Abby, the only person other than Tony who could get her to laugh, the only one who even came close to filling the huge hole in her heart that came with Tali's death, the only one who came close to being a sister to her, or Ducky, could she leave Ducky? With his sympathetic ear and gentle guidance, could she do without his gentle guidance? And Tony, her partner, her best friend, and, Ziva's heart thudded loudly as she thought silently, her partner, who loved her, he Mr. Fear-of-Commitment loved her, could she turn her back on him? On the family that her team at NCIS had become to her? Could she leave that all behind forever?

Ziva turned her attention back to her father meeting his dark eyes steadily, she shuddered at all the pain, all the anger, all the hatred he had shoved into her life, silently comparing it with all the joy, all the love, all the fun her family at NCIS had brought into hers. Ziva's blood pounded loudly in her ears as she took a step towards the limo, she glared at her father meeting his eyes angrily, "How dare you make me choose!"she yelled over the suddenly pouring rain.

Ziva paused brushing a rain soaked curl out of her face, "But I thank you for it, you made me realize that what I have here could not compare to my life in Israel," Ziva's next words successfully wiped the triumphant smirk off of her father's face, "It is _so _much better, so I will choose Director, I choose NCIS, I choose NCIS, I choose my _real_ family."

"You again made the wrong decision my daughter, and you will pay for it," Eli replied angrily. Ziva scoffed at him entirely fed up with his threats, "I was never "your daughter" Director, and I will never be." Ziva said, she slammed the limo door shut then turned on her heel striding back towards the apartment building's front door. She paused when she heard the limo behind her start up then drive off, she waited until she couldn't hear the limo anymore then slid to the ground sitting heavily on the front steps into the building, Ziva didn't know if to laugh because she was finally free or sob because of what being free meant she'd lost. Ziva settled for the later as a sob racked through her body, 14 years of pain, of heartache, of unsurpassed agony came pouring out of her, with a boom of thunder from the suddenly dark sky above the dam keeping all of Ziva's pain at bay broke inside of her. Ziva sobbed in concert with the storming skies the sound of her cries molding in with that of the storm around her so that it seemed suddenly like the very heavens were crying, were sobbing with her, for her, because of her.

Ziva shuddered, pulling away when she felt someone touch her shoulder. Tony sighed then put his arms around Ziva lifting her bridal style into his hold, when she moved to pull herself out of his arms he tightened them saying softly into her ear, "Shh, it's okay Ziva, it's me, you're going to be okay, I'm here now." Ziva surprised Tony by instantly ceasing to fight, she leaned her head down on his shoulder, letting her once pent up pain rush out of her body in loud sobs.

Tony carried her inside then sat on the couch holding her tightly towards his body, stared out at the storm outside transfixed by the sound as of the rain drops as they hit the window, he watched as the droplets rushed down the the glass as fast as the tears that were making their way down Ziva's cheeks.

"Papa" the strangled sound escaped Ziva's lips mid sob.

Tony tightened his hold on her rocking her slowly in his arms, "It's okay Zi, he's not here anymore, you're safe now" Tony murmured into her ear. He clenched his jaw angrily, he should have shot the man when he had his chance, what kind of father willingly caused there daughter this much pain?

_Have no fear for giving in  
Have no fear for giving over  
You'd better know that in the end  
Its better to say too much  
Then never say what you need to say again _

Tony let out a relieved sigh when Ziva's sobs quieted and her breathing slowed then evened out indicating that she was sleeping, and peacefully so. Tony smiled sadly brushing her cheeks dry, "I'm sorry Ziva, I'm sorry for everything, for everything he did, for everything he made you do, I'm so sorry I wish I could take it all away for you, I wish I could take all that pain away, I, I'm going to keep you safe Ziva, I promise," Tony brushed his lips against Ziva's pulling away with a start when he saw that her eyes were open, he froze unsure how she would react, Ziva smiled softly at him then brushed her fingers against her lips, "You promise?" her voice was innocent almost childlike in her plea for his answer.

Tony smiled, "Cross my heart,"

Ziva wrinkled her nose slightly, trying to place the idiom, she smiled triumphantly meeting Tony's eyes, "And hope to die, stick a needle in my eye" Ziva finished. Tony's eyes widened, the woman who didn't know how to say porcupine knew that particularly childish idiom? He thought clearly surprised. Ziva sighed sadly, "Tali would say it all the time." Ziva explained her eyes pooling with tears. Tony nodded reaching to brush her tears away. Ziva smiled when he kissed her forehead.

"I love you Ziva." Tony said his voice barely audible. Tony frowned when Ziva didn't respond, he glanced down at her the corners of his mouth slowly turning up, Ziva had rest her head on his chest right above his heart her eyelids falling shut. Tony stroked her soft curls slowly his eyes finding their way back to the window, he watched the rain fall, the drops slowly lessening until only a soft mist fell, Tony smiled at the serenity of the scene then hugged Ziva tightly to his chest.

* * *

Tony forced his eyes open when he felt himself nodding off for the third time that afternoon. He stared down at Ziva, he was no doctor but he was sure that sleeping in wet clothes would probably cause her to catch some kind of cold. Plus _she_ might be comfortable sleeping in his lap, but he definitely wasn't the corner of the wall was digging right into his back.

"Come on Zee-vah," Tony said rubbing her back, "Wake up, let's get those clothes off of you"

Ziva laughed, the low throaty sound bringing a wide smile onto Tony's face. He hadn't known how much he'd missed that very laugh until he heard it.

"You would like that yes?" Ziva asked her voice light and playful.

Tony grinned taping her nose, "Yes, yes I would actually, but you're tired and wet,-"

Ziva cut him off with a loud laugh, "I would think that you of all people would appreciate at least one of those things." she replied raising her eyebrows.

Tony shook his head slowly a smile on his face, Ziva was back, his Ziva was back. "Up Ziva," Tony said sternly, choosing not to respond to his partner's particularly suggestive comment, "There are clothes and towels in my bedroom" he tapped her lightly motioning for her to get out of his lap. Ziva obeyed then strolled off in the direction of the direction of the master bedroom. Tony's eyes followed her movements as she walked away.

"You like the view yes?" Ziva called over her shoulder a wide grin on her face.

Tony laughed, choosing again not to answer her question, "Tea?" he asked heading towards the kitchen. Tony was halfway to his intended destination when there was a loud pounding on his door, then a loud yell, "Homeland Security! Open up!"

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**A/N: **okay so, I am not completely happy with this chapter, in fact I think it's probably the worst I've ever written...I won't even specify how many reviews I'd like....so feel free to review or not if u want to anyway this chapter had to be written as a bridge into the next chapter...that one I promise is a awesome!!

SAyra


	5. Slow Dancing In A Burning Room

So, first off I'm so sorry I haven't updated this in such a long time. I suck blah blah blah. With that being said I'm going to say that this will be the end of this story. The complete failure of the most recent season pretty much lead to my total disinterest in the show. So now I've pretty much stopped writing and reading NCIS fanfiction, it's like, there's nothing there for me anymore. But I felt like owed it to my faithful readers and reviewers to finish off my stories. Also I have no idea where I was going with this story, so if the ending feels a bit empty just chalk it up to the empty feeling I felt pretty much the entire Season 8 of NCIS.

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Slow Dancing In A Burning Room

Last time on Back to You:

_"You like the view yes?" Ziva called over her shoulder a wide grin on her face._

_Tony laughed, choosing again not to answer her question, "Tea?" he asked heading towards the kitchen. Tony was halfway to his intended destination when there was a loud pounding on his door, then a loud yell, "Homeland Security! Open up!"_

It's not a silly little moment,

It's not the storm before the calm.

This is the deep and dying breath of

This love that we've been working on.

Tony wasn't sure how it had come to this. The woman he loved, the woman he would and often did give everything for had been taken from him by the very people he had been taught to trust. He closed his eyes and he could smell her on him. He could hear her voice; it was resigned as the Agents slipped cuffs around her wrists, her last words to him, "Don't tell Gibbs."

Tony cold see her face, her beautiful face, tears streaming unhindered down her cheeks as they slow marched her down the hallway and away from him. She'd looked back just once, their eyes meeting, they'd said all they could in that glance.

_I'll get you out. I promise._

_ Don't come for me, do not risk everything for me. _

But she_ was _his everything, and he'd be damned if he let her be taken away from him again.

Tony stared dismally at the walls of the holding facility. Holding facility his ass, this was a prison, and somewhere down one of its endless hallways his Ziva was sitting alone, waiting for the inevitable deportment. He'd gotten to see her just once in her month long stay. She'd been stoic then, completely resigned to her fate.

"There's nothing you can do," she'd said her voice monotone.

"Ziva please," Tony's voice cracked, he held back tears as he spoke, "We can get you out, I spoke to Vance, there are ways out Ziva, we can get married, that'll guarantee you citizenship, we can-"

"Enough Tony!" Ziva had raised her voice then giving Tony a glimpse of the old, unbroken Ziva.

"There is nothing you or anyone else can do, so just give it up! Now leave! Go on, go live your life, there is nothing here for you."

Tony had left that day with a heavy heart. His heart raced now as he saw Ziva through the heavy protected glass windows. She walked slowly her head down as she moved towards the tall imposing man that was waiting at the end of the hallway.

"Look up, please look up," Tony hadn't realized he was pleading these words out loud until he saw the other agents in the room sending him confused glances. He ignored them keeping up his pleas. "Look up, if you love me look up."

Ziva's eyes never left the floor; Tony read the word on her lips when she finally spoke, "Papa"

He slumped to the ground then, completely defeated.

If he'd looked up just then he would have seen Ziva look towards the window her heart breaking when she saw no familiar faces.

"See daughter," her father chided, "If they cared they would have at least come to see you off yes? Come now, home awaits."

We're going down,

And you can see it too.

We're going down,

And you know that we're doomed.

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Well, that's all folks. It was great while it lasted I guess. I've pretty much given up on NCIS and Tiva actually, so this is the end. Thanks again to everyone who read, reviewed, and favorited this fic. All the best

xoxo


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